Desire, Devotion, and Finding Your “Why”
“Find your why and you’ll find your way.” ~John Maxwell
While listening to a recent sermon my interest was sparked on the difference between the words desire and devotion. I found myself wondering how these two words impact our decisions and ultimately our life. When we think about desire none of us can deny the fact we live in a fast paced society that promotes fulfilling your desires and going after those things that make you “feel” good. Slogans that we can all quote such as, “Have It Your Way!” Yet, we are some of the unhappiest people experiencing overwhelming stress, anxiety, and depression at exponential rates. There are many factors that can lead to stress, anxiety, and depression but for the sake of this article we are going to focus our attention on how living a life out of desire can leave you empty while living a life of devotion can fulfill your purpose.
I think we should first start with the definition of both. Desire can be defined as a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen. Devotion, however, is defined as love, loyalty, or enthusiasm for a person, activity, or cause. There are definite differences between the two but I want to draw your attention to one distinct difference. What’s that difference, you ask? One key word---loyalty.
There is nothing innately wrong with having desires, but what happens when desire wears off? Perfect example, New Year’s resolutions. At the beginning of every year many people “desire” to lose weight, get out of debt, start a new job, improve a relationship, take an adventure, start a new hobby, etc. Unfortunately, within a few weeks the desire wears off and the New Year resolution is now placed in the category of failed attempts that can lead to emotions of guilt and/or shame. Does this sound familiar? Yes, I know! I’ve been there way to many times than I would like to mention.
Desire is often the springboard to change. It’s the spark that most of us “feel” when we get excited about a new relationship, a new business adventure, a healthier lifestyle change, or a new opportunity. It’s good to be excited! It drives us to embrace change even though we may be fearful. It pushes us out of our comfort zones with the hope that things can be better. Without desire, many of us would never start the graduate degree program, ask for that phone number, or put away those bad habits. Without desire we may never begin the process. I will say it again, desire within itself can be positive but without devotion desire is meaningless. Desire prompts us, but devotion sustains us.
Our desires can fuel decisions which ultimately impact our actions. This is an act created by God as one way that draws us closer to Him. However, the enemy can use this very thing to pull us further way from God. Let me ask you a question; what is the first thing most of you look at either before going to bed or upon waking up? Most will answer this with, “my cell phone.” Point proven! Our phones hold limitless information, pictures, objects, and even people we can find ourselves desiring but not devoted to. It’s enticing, exciting, but can also leave us sad, feeling as though we are not enough, worried, shameful, etc.
Desire finds its roots in emotions. As we all know, emotions are God-given. They are our internal indicators. Emotions are to be acknowledged, experienced, expressed, and processed. However, our emotions don’t always tell us the truth and therefore we are not to be led by them solely. Reflecting on Scripture we can see in Colossians 3:2, where the Apostle Paul encourages us to “Set our minds on things above, not on earthly things.” He goes on further explaining how to actively be led by devotion and not emotion in verse 5, “And that means killing off everything connected with that way of death: sexual promiscuity, impurity, lust, doing whatever you feel like whenever you feel like it, and grabbing whatever attracts your fancy. That's a life shaped by things and feelings instead of by God.” (The Message)
Now, let’s turn our attention to the word, devotion. Devotion, can be identified as the anchor that holds you when desire wears off. It drives you to keep going when you “feel” like giving up. Devotion is the self-discipline when you “feel” like self-indulging. Devotion is the accountability partner to desire.
Devotion simply stated can be defined as your “Why.” Your “Why” is what you value and what you value drives your devotion. It identifies you with each decision made. It is the anchor that holds you steady when everything and/or everyone around you is blaring “Just do what feels right! Define your own truth! Have it your way!” Your “Why” births your devotion. Without your “Why” you find yourself left with only desire that fades. Simon Sinek in his book, Find Your Why: A Practical Guide for Discovering Purpose for You and Your Team defines our “Why” in this way, “Our WHY is our purpose, cause or belief—the driving force behind everything we do. Our HOWs are the actions we take when we are at our natural best to bring our WHY to life. Our WHATs are the tangible manifestation of our WHY, the actual work we do every day.”
Let’s look at a Biblical example of devotion and knowing your “Why.” Ruth was a woman who depicted true devotion even while the one she remained devoted to questioned her “Why”. Ruth finds herself facing an impossible decision. After becoming a widow, she could remain in the safety of her homeland or stay devoted to her mother-in-law, Naomi. Naomi had lost her husband and both sons, finding herself left with nothing but memories and her two daughters-in-law, Ruth and Orpah.
Naomi begged Ruth and Orpah to go back home, “But on the way, Naomi said to her two daughters-in-law, Go back to your mothers’ homes. And may the Lord reward you for your kindness to your husbands and to me. May the Lord bless the security of another marriage. Then she kissed them good-bye, and they all broke down and wept. No, they said. We want to go with you to your people. But Naomi replied, Why should you go on with me?” (Ruth 1:8-11). In verse 14, we see where Orpah makes the decision to go back, but not Ruth. It says, “Ruth clung tightly to Naomi.” Ruth was clinging to her “Why.”
In verses 16-18 Ruth confirmed her “Why” that led to her devotion, “But Ruth replied, don’t ask me to leave you and turn back. Wherever you go, I will go; where you live, I will live. Your people will be my people, your God my God. Wherever you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord punish me severely if I allow anything but death to separate us!” When Naomi saw that Ruth was determined (devoted) to go with her, she said nothing more.”
Ruth and Naomi would find themselves going through many trials together. I’m sure at some point Ruth wondered, “Did I make the right decision?” When Ruth refused to leave Naomi, she drew a line in the sand. At that moment Ruth would actively define for eternity the definition of devotion. Ruth remembered her “Why.” She clung to her “Why,” and remained devoted even when it didn’t make sense to others.
So you may ask, “How do I define my WHY?” We all have a deep motivation that fuels our decisions in life. If you keep questioning why you do the things you do, you will eventually find your own personal "Why" in life. Just like Ruth, your devotion will be birthed out of your “Why.” Try asking yourself the following questions to help you define your “Why” before making decisions:
1. What do I truly value?
2. What do I want as my overall outcome?
3. What do I want people to remember about me, or say is true about me?
4. How can I best honor God with my decisions?
In my counseling practice I often give homework assignments. If you and I were in a counseling session today, I would give you the assignment of reflecting on and defining your own personal "Why”. So, on that note I will end with just that….today is the day to begin defining your “Why.” What will drive your devotion when your desire fades? When making decisions, what will your “Why” be? Allow your “Why” to drive devotion that will ultimately trump desire.